Next

Next time

This time

That time

All the time

Knowing this now

Will it affect next time

Next time theres a dime

You try to pick it up

But it’s really just binary

So next time there’s a one

I hope it’s heads up

So when I get up

I get 

Cause I will give for you

Truth is sacrifice

Real life is sacrifice

For this artificial life that we're living

It’s either sex, drugs, or rock and roll for some

For some it’s just for the love of the game

For the love of music

A voice, a line, a tune, a melody

A sound, a noise, a riff, a lick

A melody, a harmony, a rhythm and a bass

All these sounds start to control the movement 

of my body, my thoughts and my face

And we live on a case by case basis

So face it

Fucked up reality of frugality, fearlessness, ferociousness, 

Pheromones, fears, and

Adequate minds always making up these inadequacies

Models looking at the extraneous, miscelaneous

Fantasy of fate

Forgetting for a moment,

a hiccup

This twisted life that we’re living

Surrounded by hypocrites in a hypocritical, hypercritical hypocrisy

Wheres the ins become the outs and the outs become the ins

Insiders, outsiders,

Trading stocks and bonds

Bragging about bull shit, 

Carrying briefcases filled 

With basically nothing

Bare,

To dare to dream

To dare to defy

To live to get in line

Is that really a life worth living

Giving or keeping

Making or destroying

Mixing up in a matrix of made up modalities,

Moving and modulating our movements as 

we make decisions in moments, in minutes, 

in hours, in a lifetime

A lifetime of moments, lived hard

Lived full but regardless of then

It’s now

This moment I’m in

I shut my eyes

And I begin

To think

To dream

To dare

To defy definitions, definitely defining

Definitively defying

Every, itsy bitsy part of this world

Classifying classifications into classes, corporations,

These groups we create so we can survive

In this mind of ours, this mind of mine

 

And take in all the structures that collide

Collisions of decisions, driving me

From underneath my skin

These networks of neurons and nervous systems

Taking in and responding to stimuli

As I open my mouth, and close my eye

I decide to confide

To be open to the world and the world will open for me

If not today,

One day

Man-Made Lake

Natural and Fake

but is a man-made lake fake?

As the water touches the skin

of the bare naked

ladies

put on their make-up

when they wake up

because they think it makes up 

for something (that most likely)

they made up

to ease their mind

they can ease their mind so easily

however you make up 

when you wake up

not giving a fuck

but giving

living

swimming through this sea of the same

everybody trying to make a name

because they think it's lame if they don't know 

from where they came from

and it's a shame, man,

one day it's here, one day it ain't

one day it's done

la di da, all this fun

pushing and pulling lines 

letters, forming these consonants and vowels

take these letters forming these words

verbs and nouns

flowing out like a sentence

what's next?

the paragraph

or is it essay

or what's easy

or just go for a laugh

thinking your better half may 

be better than some others

roaming around 

mostly mindlessly mimicking movements 

they just't don't know 

or there's nothing they can do

there's nothing you can do

but there's always something

some thing

no thing

one thing

thing one, thing two

hopping in a park

avoiding all the weak ones 

with a big bark

cause all they can do is spark an idea 

ignite

igniting inflammable objects

it's wood

but wet wood

like a long trigger wire

and a broken switch 

broken switches still turn on 

but they lead to some broken machine

mindlessly making messes

we can't fix up

instead, we pollute

carbon monoxide

pollution of lies, lying loquaciously

living vivaciously

while we're nodding our head

not knowing if this flowing flow of information

means anything at all

any, some, no, thing

exist

existing

persisting

pacing patiently, picking apart purposes,

purposefully or not,

pushing packs of parabolas and pie charts, statistics and lies

What's natural?

What if it's natural to disguise?

Free

Natural 

Barriers 

Stereotypes 

Ridiculous ridicules of races

riding on ridiculous rivalries

Repetitious Revolutions

Wrapped up in this revolving around

this merry-go-round 

round 

riding up

as we descend

from all the great races

revolving revolutions

discovering all these places

all of these places

examining all these faces

so many faces

but just one face

that we always seem to want to keep

this repertoire of ridiculous reperortoire

and resources and a repertoire of rhetoric

Are you a heretic?

Is this pathetic?

The path we take

Natural and Fake

but is a man-made lake fake?

A man-made ocean of laws of movement and motion

we drink the potion

one by one

like a line 

of people 

we drink the potion

To help us view this ocean of objects and moments in flux

to avoid friction

as if water touches the skin

but you want to be bare

natural, barrier free
nothing stopping me being me
naturally
natural

Shot - Sweat (2012)

The young woman although a little taken back by the utterance, replied, “Hi,” and they shared a smile as the sun flashed off their sunglasses but brightened their skin. In just a blink, he could see them laughing in the comfort of a home that one day he would share with the woman of his dreams.

As he opened his eyes he saw a man sprinting in their direction. It was just an instance but the running man ran directly into the space between the young man and woman. Although it was light out, he could see ths dark figure running directly towards him. The running man knocked the young man a couple steps back, and in one motion, in one moment, in one movement, the running man smashed the girl with some black handle of a gun that looked like a new model of the standard gun most carried in this town.

Her blonde hair flashed up as if she was electrocuted as the robber ripped the woman's bag off her arm and she smashed down onto the street. The young man instantly unlatched his gun for the second time in his life. As a flash of the first time he ever unlatched his gun corrupted his brain, he fired two bullets at the man as he ran across Center Square Blvd.

The robber slowly fell to the ground, but the man saw something else far across in the distance. He could see a red, he only saw in spring flower, flowing down an elderly woman’s white blouse. He sprinted across the Blvd. hitting the robber to ensure he could not run away. He made it to the other side of the Blvd. in time to catch the woman before she hit the ground. But her white blouse had been erased by the flood flowing from her chest. It was too late, the bullet pierced through the woman’s chest and her pulse slowed as the strength in her body drifted away.

---

The crowd scattered, and true chaos broke out in the streets. Each individual was hoping to find a secure place to avoid danger. The young man looked back, but he could not see the blonde woman through all the running legs of the townspeople. He ran in her direction as he gave a final blow to the robber that would ensure he would not rise anytime in the immediate future.

He could see the blond hair hanging from a bench on the side of the Blvd. Two young men and a female wearing the same outfit as the young blonde appear to be taking care of her. He could see her chest slowly rise, and deflate, but he had to get closer. After running through the crowd he saw her eyelids fastened motionless keeping her eyes shut. One of the young men was checking her pulse, as an ambulance picked up the woman They moved her slowly to a stretcher and began moving her into the emergency vehicle.

As the two men and young woman jumped up onto the ambulance to join the blonde, the doors simultaneously shut and the young man’s attempt to board the ambulance was denied. He stood there frozen looking at the pale red that now stained his hands.

What If

What if I didn't trip?
What if I didn’t fall?
Would I just be stumbling around
Knowing nothing at all



What if I never met you and
You never met him
What if I never met her
What if

What if I missed you
by just half a step
by just half a second




What if you’re out there
but I don’t know where
What if you're here
but I don't see you

What if it means everything?
What if it doesn’t mean anything at all?

What if I missed your glance?
What if I never had the chance?
What if I never get the chance?
What?

What if
Everything I do today
means nothing tomorrow

What if tomorrow never comes
then today is all I got
Right?



What if I didn’t trip?
What if I didn’t fall?
What if I just kept living?
Seeing everything
but really seeing nothing at all

What if I didn’t know
that I know that I know nothing at all?

What if I thought I was seeing right?
But now I know I wasn’t

What if you think your right?
Will one day you know










As I write I think
What if?

What if this wasn’t anymore than this?
What could this mean?

Is it all just based on what I’ve seen?
What I see in tomorrow?
What I will see tomorrow

What Will I see tomorrow?
Who knows?
Who knows me, and can see what I see?
I live in rations, rationally
regulating my emotions, rushes,

Feelings that fluctuate
From one day to this date
A feeling's coming but sometimes it’s late

Wait wait
right?
Don’t you wish you could slow it all down?
Think about how the world is round
and we’ve only seen a fraction of what could be found

We see the loud stuff, the blatant, obvious, obnoxious
But it’s really what underlies
What you can see beneath
What lies beneath

You and me
in this real virtual reality
really?
Is it virtual or is it real?
Or does it not matter

Real or fake?
All one artificial environment
shaped by man
created by man

shapes man
creates man

is all this around me creating me
or is it me somewhere deep inside
figuring out nirvana
self-actuality
my actual self in this real world
that I see that I believe
that I believe
I know

What if I didn’t trip?
What if I didn’t fall?
Would I just be stumbling around
Knowing nothing at all

One Day I'll Be

Can I treat you right
I can't be what I want to be
For you, for the world,
The guy that you deserve
but
I'm here

I can be who you want
I can be who you need
I can be the person you deserve

The Situation to be in
To see in
To see inside
The side of a situation
This side of a side by side

version of the truths
cause half of them are lies
or is their only one?

manipulated
emasculated
mauled and mamed

Stuck in this sea of the same
people pretending to be who they're not

---

I feel
feel love
living a certain way
life before you and life now
just ain't the same
changed
but
still the same

shame
fame
came
gone
lame
same

Damaged
an image
innocence overcome by truth
innocence
is it ignorance is bliss

stay still in these fits
fighting for
love
fighting for faith
fighting
to be resilient

relax, rest

You can't outsmart this
You can't hide from something
You can't hide from your life, your love
You become overcome by something greater than yourself
Overcome by becoming
a better man

Time of my life
Making my life
seeing it form
firm up
up to form

Swarm
Swan
Swarm
Bees
busy little bees
ants marching
changing directions
movements

spinning like a compass
on the north pole
living a life
recreating your role
fitting a role

creating something
but nobody knows what they're doing
why they're doing
just why
who
what where why when how
how could we be in this current situation
current scenario
is there a better place to go
what what's the scenario

inside
outside
ephemeral
everlasting
fantastic
maleable like plastic
plasticity
electricity

cities form
bigger and bigger
networks combine
Houses into blocks,
blocks into streets,
streets into neighborhoods,
neighborhoods into cities and suburbs,

it's absurd cause it's the house
made of bricks, doors, and roofs
of concrete, poercelan, water, bricks, steel and sand
manufactured in a way that you don't even realize
can we even comprehend
all these patterns forming patterns
one blending into the next
one life

one
role in a play
plastered into a cast
a group
a culture
an environment

a life
one life to lead
one life to live

going where the story takes you
seeing life unfold
in art and reality
music to the mind
meaning to the brain

beautiful sets
beautiful production
execution executing and shooting all these ideas out of me
so I can see
seeing you
seeing me

One thing or the next
all or nothing
anything is something
creating relationships
finding meaningful relationships

having fun and having meaning
having a reason
to believe in
cause everything happens for a reason right?
hmmm i don't know about that one
I doubt it
while all these people are shouting it
cause it doesn't mean anything
because meaning comes on after
so its like your racing in some race
but only when you look back
you were chasing something
that you're not even after.

Laughter ha ha
it's funny
how simple such complex things can be
because we see them in a way
but its not the way it really is
it's just a model of reality
of us being in this world
all these notions and emotions clouding our judgement

fudge it, cause most of them didnt know what the fuck they were doing
measuring shit just to observe not to correlate, destory or create
always looking for cause
causation, when sometimes their ain't
markers, targets, surveys, confounding

independent
dependent
alternating like a wave

vibration
one movement to the next
impulse
just a brief force for a short time
bump bump
pulsating
relaying all relevant realizations
cause I feel these sensations
that you can't even describe

cause when your going for something a vibe is a vibe
can't hide from a vibe
can't hide from your life

like living in a blimp
floating over everything and
never coming down to earth
understanding
living not planning

though this span
life span
development
embryo
oh no
yes yes
no no
show

old dog
no tricks
new tricks
its tricky yah yah
its tricky
getting stuck in all these sticky situations

holy shit
show
shit show
free for all

Free for you
Free for me
but connected in ways that you can't even see
energy, chemicals and electricity
its tricky

figuring out what i want and what i need
all i need is safety and food to feed on
then is everything else what i want?

who knows
maybe you can tell me one day
and when you dream
We can dream together

One Day

If I Ever

If I Ever
Slip
Should I fall?

If I ever
mess up
mix up
fall down
get up

If I Ever
lose this
lost that

I regenerate
make more
generate
gradually
generally

General, Colonel, Ally
Friend

If I ever slip
I'll fall
Fall back again
I'll get up
Get tall
Getting taller

while you're chipping away pieces
off of my chopping block
you can do whatever you want
to build yourself up
but even if you bring people down
you're still at the same level
disheveled trying to shovel away
all the bull shit
you create
you generate
degenerate
regenerate

reenergizing
reengerize me
challenge me
test me

if i ever wilt away
I'll charge back
charge up
explode
energy ball

charging down
charging towards a goal
horses with our blinders
blinds
blinded

blinded by
blinded by love
blinded by hate
blinded by ignorance and arrogance
like a fragrance you can't get out
febreeze
down on your knees
trying to take me there
praying
hoping
that this can't be all
there's gotta be more

if I ever think that
I'll do this
I can do this
if I ever think

if I even start to think
my mind
takes me
to all these different places
airplanes, trains, automobiles
moving so fast,
a mile a minute
and I'm in it
watching the world go round
without taking a step

mobile
moving through space time
drawing up these lines
delineating
dimensions to measure up
lines to stay in
or break out

prison
these barriers
mental bars
resisting
arresting
resisting relaxation
testing

tumbling and turning
to today
to tomorrow
and yesterday yesterday
we always say stupid shit
wishing it could of come out the way you saw it in a dream
it should of

prophecy
wishing for something that might not come
wishing for someone that doesn't exist
wishing for the idea of you
of a you
of a me
hard to believe

don't even need to visualize
I see it
just a dream
a fantasy
all the spaces between

predicting
wishing

remembering
that if I ever slip
I fall
I get up
I got up
I break out
I'll break free

If I ever
I will

If I ever
I am

I Forget

Everyday 

more and more

And I’m not sure if I like the feeling

I fear that the idea will disappear 

What idea? This idea

The beauty that brightened my world.

The beautiful that brightens my world.

A smile, a voice, a body, a soul,

a thought, your thoughts

your eyes, some help

I wonder

I think

I know

That we will all change

But how

  

Because I know will I have been changed for good?

Wicked, is this wrong?

And I don’t want to forget

I don’t want to forget my past

I don’t want to forget my youth

And memories fade

But people are around us

People are always around us 

to remind us

So those moments can live on 

in our minds

in our dreams

So lost ones can live on

In our minds 

In our dreams 

In our thoughts

In our speech

In us

Clock beats constant but always feels too fast

This moment is now but it will not last

Every second becomes our past

Do we want to live life like it’s a task

Is that a question we can ask?

Can we deny our intuition

and just go with a fact

the fact that we don't know

we don't know

we don't know

we don't know why

we do the things we do

but we do them

some mixed up menage a trois

of me, my emotions and logic

can't design it like a project

as I project all these feelings and ideas

one big whirlwind, 

werling, wild, spinning

while I stay stationary

keep going at it

but staying static

electricity running through me

but we don't even feel it

distracted

more and more

by all these unneccessary 

necessities needed by nobody 

piling up

everyday

more and more

make the most of this feeling