Introduction

I'm an overachiever and a perfectionist, so sometimes I make life very hard for myself. Every sentence I write, even this one, I want it to come out perfectly so it can adequately express my feelings. I could hesitate and sit here all day trying to perfect every sentence I write and deliberate on every word I chose, but then I realize no matter what words I write, they are going to mean different things for you and me. And interestingly enough these words will probably mean something different to me the next time I read them. Additionally, the majority of ideas I express will not be unique because most ideas have already been thought of, I just hope to put it all together in my straight forward, logical way. A great deal of my work ends up being stream of consciousness which I think makes it more fun to write and to revisit.

Life is very much lived in our minds. Many things are going on around us, and our senses take in the stimuli, but we all perceive this world differently. Although we all live in the same physical world, every individual has their own unique concept and understanding of "their world." We all live on this planet with similar capabilities, but each individual has their own conceptual reality. Humans on an individual level are very different, but I believe we are all the same. Now you may scratch your head and point out the hypocrisy and contradiction of that statement and that's fine because I'm doing that too. We live in a world with universal laws, but the amazing aspect of human life is that we all have our own particular way of expressing ourselves.

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We all put ourselves first, directly or indirectly. View it as a good thing or view it as a bad thing, every individual person is selfish. This was an extremely hard concept for me to grasp and I still struggle with the idea and it's effect on family, friend and love relationships. Even in love relationships, each partner is selfish and has to take care of themselves and try to ensure they're not hurting themselves, sometimes at the expense of a loved one. Someone once told me that true love is putting someone’s needs above yours and caring about someone more than themselves. But that’s love and that takes a lifetime to figure out.

In any type of relationship, the individual must find a balance of giving and self-serving behavior. This is where the indirectly comes in. In many cases, giving behavior may be self-serving. Usually there isn't one reason for anything, but people most definitely act in a way that will benefit themselves personally. Volunteers often explain their motivation for their helping behavior as the good feeling they get inside while and after they do it. Fortunately in this situation, the consequences of their behavior benefit themselves and usually society.

In schools, in most instances, students will be nice to their teachers during the semester, definitely somewhat out of respect, but almost definitely for the additional perks of being on the teacher's good side. In these instances, it may be more of a manipulative strategy by students. It is clear that the incentives and desired outcomes of the parties may not be in line. For example, many students complain that they hate that teacher because they gave them a B-. Although early in the semester, the student may have tried to get onto the teacher’s good side, after the grades are put in and the possible benefits of having a strong relationship with your teacher are over, relationships cease to exist. There are clearly other factors associated with the formation and duration of a teacher-student relationship. Some confounding factors could be the social norms dictating student-teacher relationships as well as the exposure to that teacher drastically decreasing after the class is over. Nevertheless, once the opportunity for personal benefit diminishes the relationship rapidly dissolves. Due to the quickly fleeting benefits in most teacher-student relationships, it's very rare, but possible, that a teacher can find a true friendship with a student, or visa versa. Obviously, there are many unique situations where the norm does not hold true. A better example could be that of a salesman type role and a former business client. Before the “business” is taken care of the salesman will be buddy-buddy with the business client. Once the business deal is over, the relationship would cease to exist.

Once the benefits of having a relationship diminish or the "costs" of having the relationship exceed the benefits, the relationship inevitably ends. Now for me, this is upsetting, but sometimes the truth does not make you happy. And this fact also explains much of human interaction. This can explain why it always seems like you have more friends when you're happy than when you’re down. It is only when allegiances are challenged, that fair-weather friends wither and true friendship can be discovered, confirmed or strengthened.