If I Ever

If I Ever
Slip
Should I fall?

If I ever
mess up
mix up
fall down
get up

If I Ever
lose this
lost that

I regenerate
make more
generate
gradually
generally

General, Colonel, Ally
Friend

If I ever slip
I'll fall
Fall back again
I'll get up
Get tall
Getting taller

while you're chipping away pieces
off of my chopping block
you can do whatever you want
to build yourself up
but even if you bring people down
you're still at the same level
disheveled trying to shovel away
all the bull shit
you create
you generate
degenerate
regenerate

reenergizing
reengerize me
challenge me
test me

if i ever wilt away
I'll charge back
charge up
explode
energy ball

charging down
charging towards a goal
horses with our blinders
blinds
blinded

blinded by
blinded by love
blinded by hate
blinded by ignorance and arrogance
like a fragrance you can't get out
febreeze
down on your knees
trying to take me there
praying
hoping
that this can't be all
there's gotta be more

if I ever think that
I'll do this
I can do this
if I ever think

if I even start to think
my mind
takes me
to all these different places
airplanes, trains, automobiles
moving so fast,
a mile a minute
and I'm in it
watching the world go round
without taking a step

mobile
moving through space time
drawing up these lines
delineating
dimensions to measure up
lines to stay in
or break out

prison
these barriers
mental bars
resisting
arresting
resisting relaxation
testing

tumbling and turning
to today
to tomorrow
and yesterday yesterday
we always say stupid shit
wishing it could of come out the way you saw it in a dream
it should of

prophecy
wishing for something that might not come
wishing for someone that doesn't exist
wishing for the idea of you
of a you
of a me
hard to believe

don't even need to visualize
I see it
just a dream
a fantasy
all the spaces between

predicting
wishing

remembering
that if I ever slip
I fall
I get up
I got up
I break out
I'll break free

If I ever
I will

If I ever
I am